America’s Stupidest Sport

I’ve never liked football. And it’s not an anti-American sentiment. I’ve always hated Canadian football too, even when I was playing it in high school. The only reason I played it was so I could hang out with the cheerleaders.

Like my high school football coach, Dean Dixon said, “It’s a series of six-second wars.” What he didn’t say was that there is a whole lot of nothing in between. Unlike soccer, hockey or basketball, there is no continuous action or flow to the game. Unlike baseball, or even golf, there is no artistry or grace.

So here we are, at the highest level in the farthest reaches of Century Link Field.

P1040725The noise level is incredible, and not the kind of noise I find inspiring or motivating – just really annoying. I’ve never liked big stadium events of any kind, including rock concerts. I find the crowds suffocating and almost menacing.

I’d rather have been out there.

P1040738The next time someone offers me tickets to a football game and I ask, “How much?” and they say, “Free!” I’ll say, “You’ll have to pay me more than that.”

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