From Australia via Balloon Juice, the best headline ever.
Gordon Ramsay’s dwarf porn double Percy Foster dies in badger den
For those of you who don’t know who Gordon Ramsay is (I didn’t either), he’s a celebrity British chef. I also didn’t know there were celebrity porn doubles. But dying in a badger den???!!!
What a sheltered life I’ve led.
A Walternative Universe 
Though it doesn’t quite match your submission ‘Nicolas Cage awoken by naked man with Fudgesicle’ is pretty good. (today on yahoo, I didn’t read the story).